According to Dr Gray Chapman, there are The Five Love Languages for lovers to express their heartfelt commitment to their mates.

That’s a pretty universal standard we can apply, especially for a country like Singapore where we are greatly influenced by our friends from US, especially the relationship gurus.

Since this is A Tale Of Two Cities, what I’m going to share with you here is one more way of expressing your love to your family.

Are you ready?

Hang red lanterns.

Like these …

Lantern 6  Lantern 1

And this …

Lantern 4

And all over this post as you shall see.

Stop laughing! Is this indeed their culture? I queried my friend about all these red lanterns that come in different sizes and designs hanging all around his house. He explained those are his father’s work of art.

It got me really confused. As I understood, he was staying all by himself! So why would his dad hang all these lanterns as if he’s the one staying in this place?

Lantern 2He told me in his country (I guess you should be able to figure out where I am now) this is how parents express their love to their children.

“Red lanterns?” I asked.

“Yes, they’re supposed to mean good luck and they can ward off evil” he replied.

“Ok” I nodded my head.

“Maybe you can put this in your blog and let them (my readers, that is, YOU) know how parents express their love for their children here (his country)” he jokingly suggested.

Well, I didn’t take that as a joke, as I fully agreed this would be an interesting piece of culture exchange. The main reason is not so much of what the red lanterns mean, but more of an understanding of the interaction between a parent and a son.

I’m not sure about you, but when I first heard he actually allowed his father to put up those lanterns wherever he pleased when he wasn’t even staying there, I was bemused. Most probably in Singapore, we would want to have the say in our own house, if you have moved out and are staying alone or with your spouse.

Lantern 3Would you be happy to let your dad or mom hang such lanterns all around your house when they surely won’t fit into your interior decoration? Or would you tell them that you appreciate their kindness and good intentions but you’d rather not hang them up?

Perhaps you might be asking if there’re still such parents around in this modern era in Singapore? Well I’m sure there are. It could be other things or issues and not red lanterns.

My friend accepted all of his dad’s expression of love for him by hanging those lanterns. At the same time, he told me that he won’t use this same method to educate his own offspring. That showed his acceptance was fully out of respect and not agreement.

While we, the more agressive expressive yet assertive Singaporeans will probably communicate our “rights” to our dear parents to let them understand the “difficult” position they are putting us through. Then again, our parents too have their ways to make us see their love more than our own difficult position. And so, we too surrender. :)

I feel this is an issue of boundaries. What is your opinion? Any comments?

3 more little ones to go … ;)

Lantern 5

[tags]Expression of love,The Five Love Languages, Dr Gary Chapman,Communication,Relationships,Family,Respect[/tags]

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