LOVE, Kloudiia

Ladies, which option would you choose?

1. A man who always give you unexpected surprises; or

2. A man who is meeting your needs constantly.

Think carefully before you put your bet. You can only choose one.

A friend after reading this post asked me, if my boyfriend were to do exactly the things that I have taught or adviced other guys on me, doesn’t that remove the uncertainty in dating? I didn’t fully understand his question, but later I did. What he meant was, if a guy is doing things his girlfriend can predict, then where’s the mystery left in the courtship?

Am I killing the mystery in dating and courtship, then? Hmm, interesting question. So I’ll do my best to give a not-so-predictable answer then.

In order not for me to be a killer, I can do either one of the following:

1. Act blur. Pretend that I know nothing. Depends on how well my acting is, sometimes I might just pull it off!
2. Choose an even smarter partner. Well, if he can beat me in my own game, what else can I say?

Ok, this is not the main point. The crux of the question is whether you are only happy with a man who keeps springing you with surprises, or contented with living with a man whom you know will be there at the time when you know he will be there. Get it?

Coming back to me. As a love coach, I do have some tricks up my sleeves. Adding on my own imagination, plus the “special effects” TV dramas have on me, I can’t say I don’t know anything that’s going on or about to go on in my relationship.

But am I killing the mystery? My answer is – yes and no.

YES because of the constant communication I have with my partner. That makes us more aware of what our wants and needs are. Remember Secret #22: How You Can Coach Your Partner in my book? That’s what it’s all about.

NO because whether or not he makes me happy doesn’t solely rely on the surprise factor, therefore how important does the mystery portion come in? No doubt it plays a relatively important part, but his sincerity is the ultimatum.

I see the latter when he does things for me, especially amidst his busy schedule. Like when he agreed to come home earlier and give me some time to chat, and he really did. Like when I asked him to help me out with my stuff and he did.

So when he did all these upon my request, does this make it non-romantic? In my opinion, no. Because I know very well that we’re both creating spontaneous romantic moments every now and then. Any little gestures or words that catch me unaware are to me, romantic, sweet and loving.

Must the mystery be alive in order to keep the romance sparkling in a relationship?

I think I’ve said enough to let you know where my stand is. You can form your own judgement and conclusion.

Lastly, does a man really need to go to such lengths to make her woman happy? Guess what? In fact, not so.

Many women I’ve spoken to told me this simple thing that, if their men were to do it, will make them feel being romanced and absolutely loved.

When you know what it is guys, you’ll be convinced there really is no magic about it.

This is what they told me:

The once in a while surprise is always good. But nothing beats having my man sitting down and giving me his full attention while I tell him what I feel like saying. Maybe how my day went, or what I saw that day, without interrupting me, without yawning, without fidgeting, and certainly without his eyes fixed on the TV, newspaper, magazine or whatever his eyes choose to focus on except me.

If this sounds too hard for you guys, then, maybe you have to resort to more than once-in-a-while surprises.

But if it does sound very doable, then let me give you another tip. This is a bonus for your girl!

Give her a knead every night before she sleep. On her shoulder, or her feet, or wherever she feels like having a nice massage to soothe her aching muscles. You can ask for one too! I’m sure she’ll return the favour very eagerly too!

Happy romancing each other…