LOVE, Kloudiia

I have something to share with you.

These few weeks have been a test for me on lots of things. Patience, forgiveness, faith – just to name a few.

I learnt a few lessons from those events, some of which are personal, while some happened at arm’s length – though not directly affected, but still altered my perspectives all the same. Talking about all my ruminations will take too long, but I’d like to mention one in particular, so here goes …

My main topic is “Change”. Change comes in many forms and sizes. They may happen because of your will, and it may also occur unexpectedly without your plan or preparation. It brings more joy to you (hopefully!), at the same time, if not managed properly, it may cause pain too.

Whatever the outcome is, the process of undergoing change always has mixed emotions. While looking forward to something better than the current status, how we handle ourselves and everyone involved in the transition phase plays an imperative role in determining the overall satisfaction level of the result we get.

I experienced stress, with the add-on anxiety, at a level that is really not considered healthy or satisfactory during this period. Arguments arose because of the different opinions and standpoints, and it took alot of conscientious effort to control my temper (not that I have a bad one to start with) while listening to stories from all sides and finally to communicate my own thoughts, which can be an excruciating experience when you are dealing with stubborn beings.

Honestly speaking, it has been difficult. What gave me the strength during this trying time, besides the support I received from my loved ones, is Faith. As a believer in God (whichever religion it may be), putting my whole trust in Him has helped me tremendously. If you are an atheist, you can still take this on a more philosophical approach.

Just few days back, I felt very cornered by the anxiety that’s coming from someone close to me. It made me very apprehensive, and scared. Then, an intuitive feeling tells me to just take a leaf from the Bible, which I did, during my RCIA home session. The first page I flipped to didn’t give me much enlightenment. So I flipped to another section. Again, as I read the first few lines of the paragraph, I grew more confused. So I just skimped through the rest, until the 2nd last sentence sprang out at me, snap, just like that!

It made complete sense to me! All of a sudden, I felt very assured, because I know my problem will soon be over, because He knows! But wait! This isn’t the end yet. After I reached home, while packing the food we brought back, a verse from the Bible on the exact paper bag containing the food caught my eye. It read something like this (may not be verbatim, but it conveys the meaning)

Peter said, throw all your anxiety to Him, for He will take care of it for you.

Holy moly! By this time, a wave of peace flushed through me, and now I’m really settled. I mean, my faith has shaken a little over the duration, but this has renewed my faith and made it even stronger. Maybe because I didn’t give up (praying and putting in my effort to do my best), or maybe it is meant to happen only then.

What I’m saying is, in times of troubles, do not be too contained in your own world. Look and listen around you, for you may just get some clues or words of strength at the time when you need them. If you keep holding on to the positive belief steadfastly and have strong unwavering faith (whether in God or in yourself), like what I did, change will take place smoother and you will enjoy the whole process more.

Furthermore, hold on to what you believe is right, and achievable, go ahead and do it until you see the results. Make sure you are really doing your best in the area that is within your control. For those that’s beyond your control, leave it to God, or luck! Do not give them up and settle for something lesser, just because there are inconveniences and pain during the changeover.

You deserve the best. Make the change a worthwhile one, with beautiful payoffs.