LOVE, Kloudiia

I’ve spoken to the guys who are dating older women in the earlier post Dating An Older Woman.

You know very well it takes two to tango in a relationship. So, let’s turn our focus to the ladies in this post, and see what these women need to take note of when they are dating, well, a man who’s much younger than them.

We know you have fuller pockets

You had a 2 year headstart with your career while he served our nation (assuming he’s a Singaporean and had to fulfill his national duty). Add that to the number of years you are older, and it’s highly likely that you will have a fuller pocket than he does.

This is an assumption. If this isn’t the case, then that’s great. But if it is, please spare a thought more thoughts for your boyfriend who isn’t bringing home a bigger dough than you do.

That means, if you have a more luxurious lifestyle, you may want to nip it in a little, so that you don’t hurt his ego thinking that he can’t afford to buy you the things you like. The last thing you want is to make him feel small beside you.

When buying him gifts, do consider what is the most expensive gift he can afford to buy for you. That’s right. You heard me correctly. Put yourself in his shoes before you take out your platinum card and swipe another few hundred bucks away for that gold-plated cufflinks, when he uses the same amount of money for his monthly transport.

Then again, the number of super-charged women high fliers who are earning more than their husbands are on the rise. Therefore this scenario might soon be just another normal phenomenon.

And, he wouldn’t be that far off if he has been working for a few years. Unless, you’re one of the super-charged high fliers. Are you?

Hide that mother nature!

It’s natural. The mother instinct comes with us when we are born. But that doesn’t give you a license to shower him with excessive motherly love!

Please, everyone knows, especially him, that he is n years younger than you. You don’t have to exacerbate this with your action, do you?

Treat him as a man, if you want a man, and you’ll probably get one.

Treat him as a boy, and you will get a boy, even if you don’t want it.

Accord him with the due respect to discuss matters with him, ernestly! Not wearing the “discussion is on” label as a pretext to inform him of your decision, which had been made probably 48 hours before that conversation.

Though leaders are born…

but they can be made too! So, give your man a chance to lead and guide you, even though you have a richer life experience. Do not always be the first to jump into action.

Let him plan for himself, and for your future. If he is in serious need of help, which you’ll be able to tell when he can’t seem to figure out the left and the right, then give suggestions, not commands. Listen sincerely, and with an open heart and mind. Do not go into a talk with a pre-concieved notion that “I know better, and I have been there, done that. So, YOU should listen to ME”

That is not a discussion. That is an order!

Ouch! Are we in the army now? Share your life experiences, not use that as a means to coerce him to do exactly what you tell him to.

At the same time, guys, if you’re really stuck in a situation, especially when it may affect your relationship, do not feel inadequate to seek for her opinion. If you can’t even open up to your loved one and admit your weakness, do you think you are strong enough to face the world?

Focus on the advantages

Your better sensitivity. His energy. Your self-confidence. His crankiness.

I’m sure there are some strengths when your boyfriend is younger than you. Sit down with him and brainstorm those plus points. List them down and go through them.

Then, maximise those merits and make them bigger, better.

Excuse me, is he your younger brother?

You don’t want that to happen, don’t you? So, one of the easiest way to not fall into this trap is – your image! I’m not asking you to dress like a teenager, but there is no need to watch a movie with him in your power suit, on a, well, lazy and casual Sunday, right?

I’m exaggerating a little, just for fun reading’s sake.  But, you do get the point.

But what if you do look older? Ask yourself how do you feel? Do you still like that image of yourself and him walking side by side? If you? If you don’t, chances are the others will feel the same too.

So, you have to start changing your own response towards that mirror reflection! Be proud of him, and you. Be proud of your love. Then, when people see you two together, they can only see the look of happiness that you are radiating, and nothing else.

I’m sure there are other issues revolving a relationship when the guy is younger. What I’ve mentioned could be icings on the cake, or the real deep-rooted stuffings.

To repeat and reiterate what I’ve said, love has no boundaries. Regardless of race, language, religion or age. There is a reason why you are together, so when things aren’t as sweet and rosy as the beginning, it’s time to look at them in truth and make some adjustments.

[tags]dating & relationship, younger man, older woman, love, boundary, age[/tags]