Yes, on 1 September 2010, after years of egging on by Stuart, and wanting to follow certain news, I’ve decided to jump on the tree and be one of the twitters!

Follow me on Twitter now and get updates from me. Well, since they are only few liners, expect to get more tweets than posts. I love the stars (my symbol, you know? *wink*) on my profile design, and was trying to change the background colour to pink but somehow it didn’t work. So, have to settle for this then. At least I managed to change the colour of the links to pink. Haha!

And guess what? While I was registering my account, holly molly, the name “kloudiia” has been taken already! Gosh! I can’t claim this name to myself anymore, cos I’m sharing it with another person on this Earth. I must say it’s either our brain cells have too similar imprints, or she saw my name, liked the spelling, and used it! For my sister was the one who came up with this spelling, truly.

But, well, this is probably to tell me not to procrastinate in the future. Just do it.

See ya all on Twitter then. Tweet tweet tweet

Never fear shadows. They simply mean there’s a light shining somewhere nearby.

~ Ruth Renkel

Many times, couples quarrel over the most trivial matter. And when they look back at it, they chide themselves for allowing the situation to get out of hand. Stuart and I do have our heaty moments too, but we realise that more often than not, with some bits of humour and a change of perspective, things could be completely different.

So, in this new series–which will be ongoing since my dear hubby won’t stop “irritating me”–I’ve decided to spill some beans on what goes behind the scene between me and Stuart. Mostly some silly conversations, but, if you get the concept well, and be flexible enough to know when and how to apply to your own situation, who knows, you probably can defuse an atomic bomb before it explodes and level you flat! Since it’s about us, so I’m naming the series How to Please Your Wife. But, you know as well as I do that you can use the tactics to please anyone you wish to: girlfriend, mother, father, sister, in-laws, dogs, cats.

This, is the first one.

I was away for six weeks in Iowa, and when I came back, I discovered that dear hubby has been to the KTV, all by himself!

‘So how did you enjoy it, singing alone?’

‘Not bad, it was quite fun.’ Hubby beamed a smile, his eyes pressed together into a slit.

‘No, that’s not the correct answer!’ I frowned. ‘Give you another chance. So, how did you enjoy yourself singing alone?’ Now was the right time to give a little pout. Hands on hips to send a clearer signal. Eyes narrowed.

‘Eh… not that good.’

‘But why?’ I blinked my eyes, and opened them twice as big. I could feel the tightness as I stretched my eyelids to their limit.

‘Because you’re not there! It’s no fun singing without you.’

‘Hahaha … that’s true! Hahaha. That’s the correct answer. Bingo!’ Hubby deserved a hug.

See? Not that hard to please your wife or girlfriend, right? So men, when your wife gives you a second chance, give a better answer. And ladies, when your men aren’t giving you the answer you’re hoping for, don’t get mad. Think of a better way to get what you want. Chances are, with a bit of creativity, and humour, you’ll get it.

Take this with a pinch of salt, really.

But, get the concept.

When you look at this photo, what do you see? If you see the word FROWN first, then you’re like me! What does this say? I’m no psychologist, just that my mind tends to make some relations and so-called “insights” into things that I observe and take meaning from. In this case, I feel that if you’re like me who first notices the FROWN, could it be that we’re the group who see the cup as half-empty instead of half-full. In other words, are we more pessimistic than optimistic?

That’s sad to own up, isn’t it? But to me, it’s about know oneself well enough and acknowledging our weakness. Instead of limiting us, it actually empowers us because when the level of awareness is high, only then can we execute change. When we’re aware of our natural tendencies, we’re on the alert to any negative thoughts that will sneak in. But they won’t catch us unprepared anymore, because we’re aware. Before the negative thought has a chance to lay root in our mind and give birth to more devilish young ones, we nip it in the bud and throw them away to the far universe.

In this case, when I spotted FROWN, I eliminated them from my vision and focused on the surrounding letters to make out what they mean. SMILE appears and comes into focus, and it remains as my focus. I see the textural differences between the two, and notice how sturdy and determined SMILE stands in relation to FROWN. The characters are like five soldiers–brave and intelligent–standing in sentry announcing their dedication to me, telling me that I’ll be secure in them forever, when I choose to focus and believe that good things will come and prevail.

I always tell my coaching clients, and I’ve written this in my book, that whatever you choose to focus grows. And whatever you choose to believe will become true for you. So, be careful of what you wish for, focus on and believe in.

You have a choice. Mine looks like the favourite choice of everyone’s too. See! SMILE!

In case you’re wondering, this is the first of a series of art campaign – Think Positive. Act Positive by the Health Promotion Board, Singapore. This sculpture was exhibited in Vivo City on 6 Auguust 2010.

Stuart was eating some grapes last night when he asked: ‘How do you describe the sensation of eating grapes?’

‘It’s like spring – the sweetness of it in your mouth, and the crunchiness like the crisp air.’

He popped a few more grapes into his mouth.

‘A bursting of juice all over in your mouth.’ I closed my eyes and sucked my lips together, as if I were the one eating them now.

‘It’s like an explosion of happiness.’

‘Why?’

‘The sweetness of the juice is flowing everywhere in your mouth, and it tastes so good. So that’s happiness.’

And I sat there, watching my dear hubby eat all my happiness away …  Haha

I was dining at Sushi Tei the other day with my sister and a friend. The food was satisfying, as usual, and I was glad that the standards have remained. When it was time for dessert, we ordered a serving of salt ice-cream to share among us.

The waiter with a crew cut and a round face came and placed the small ceramic bowl with the snowy ball of ice-cream tucked in on our table. We asked for two more spoons, and very soon he came with them. Sticking the two spoons into the bowl, he was about to rush off when both of them dropped out of the bowl and landed onto the table. He picked them up and stuck each of them in again, and turned to dash off, when one of it fell again, with the other spoon dangling dangerously until I took it and poked it safely in the bowl. With his body almost away from the table and his hand remaining over our table, he picked that one up and stuck it into the bowl, and turned to hurry off when it came out again. This time, my friend caught hold of the falling fellow and told the waiter it’s okay, we got it. He smiled and rushed off.

‘Is he in such a hurry?’ I asked. Well, he certainly looked like he was, because he scurried to our table and scurried away so hurriedly that he couldn’t spare a minute to place the spoons properly into the bowl. He just couldn’t spare that time, it seemed.

I wouldn’t lie and say that I’m happy with such a service, especially when I’m dining at a restaurant, paying for the 10% service charge and was served by a waiter who had got no time for us. Another lady also refilled our cups of tea and hot water with not a hint of smile  on her face. It was like she had been robbed of happiness and it was most unfortunate that we had to be there to witness it.

What is my point? It’s not really to complain about the kind of service that I got, but to relate this to our own behaviour. How many times have we, ourselves, promised someone to do something and we did a lacklustre job? We then gave reasons that we’ve got no time, and it is almost a miracle that we can get it done somehow, without breaking our back. But, is that a real and valid reason? If you’ve got no time, then why agree to do it in the first place? And if you’ve agreed, shouldn’t you put in your best and do a good job? I think that’s what you owe that person in the least. If you can’t perform to a certain standard, then maybe you should let it be known early on or tell them that at this point of time, you simply wouldn’t be able to give this commitment.

When you’ve given a commitment to do it, then give this task the due respect and attention it deserves. Finish it within the time you promised to get it done for your friend.

Be it your job, or a favour that you’re doing for someone, give the best you can if you’ve said you would.  In this way, you’ll always appreciate yourself for the difference you’ve made by putting in that attention and time, rather than doing a slipshod task and neither you nor the other person feel that it’s a job well done. Have pride in what you do, and show it with the results.

Put in 100%. Make your effort worth, and make a splash.

I do my sister a great service now, by likening Jeff Chang to an angel’s voice. Indeed, there can be no false claims about this, if you’ve been to any of his concerts and listened to his live singing.

Last Saturday counted as the third time that I’ve been to Jeff Chang’s concert, and never once was I disappointed. No glitz, no glamour, just pure two and a half hours of unadultered singing and good music.

Some bantering on Jeff’s part, which tickled us some bit, but overall, the atmosphere was just simple, elegant and very moving. The stage was plain, with only five screenfolds lined up at the back, showing photos of Jeff’s past album sporadically to the appropriate songs that were sung. A short, advertisement of sort on two of the screens, alternating between left and right, introduced his first number of the night: 信仰, or Faith.  When his crystal voice boomed over the Max Pavilion, it was as if the stage was instantly glamourised by a hundred times, like it was awaken, and now was ready to bloom. A smile crept onto my face, spreading like a wide banana. I didn’t realise how much I love his voice until that moment, when I was strongly reminded again. The slight unhappiness of the not-so-good view from our seats dissipated, and I settled down into the cuddle of his voice.

Celebrating and marking his twenty years–twenty one to be exact–in showbiz, this series of World Tour concerts was like a big secondary school reunion. Photos of yore documented his growing up and coming of age, and I was reminded of the times when I was a student myself, following him from one hit song to another as I graduated from one school to the next. Lyrics were prominently displayed on the two large projector screens at each side of the stage, converting the concert into an instant mega karaoke, the sea of voices rising above the ocean of heads. I sang so wholeheartedly that towards the end, my throat was completely dry, but satisfied.

This was a concert with truly good music, and you’ll leave it thinking that every cent of the ticket price was more than worth it.

Stuart: ‘Is he still alive?’

Can a couple who has been married for thirty-five years forget how to hold hands? If you’re married, are you and your spouse still holding hands? Or have you also forgotten how to?

Newly married couples don’t need reminding to be physically close. They are like excited puppies that can’t keep their paws off each other. When kids come along, these couples put on their almighty parents suits all day long. This suit comes with all the functions to be the great mummy and daddy–waterproof, many pockets, thick and airy–but loses its appeal when it comes to being the loving spouse. Alas, when parents start donning it, they forget to take it off, even when they go to bed.

They begin to craft a new routine. One parent carries the baby and the other the entire paraphernalia. When the kids start to walk, they hold their hands. When the kids start to run, they follow closely behind. And when the children dash, and finally fly, that’s when they stop trailing, because they could no longer.

Suddenly the space between them is empty. The couple looks at each other, at their hands and start fidgeting. Eventually, they cross their arms and put their hands in the pockets.

Children are the fruits of love. As a responsible parent, giving your offspring love and attention is critical to their growing up. But, you are still aspouse to your partner, and this role should always come first in your marriage. If you find it a challenge juggling these roles simultaneously, then start with doing simple things constantly.

Like holding hands.

When I first started blogging, I worried about what to write. I didn’t want to post things that wouldn’t benefit people when they read it, and I wanted it to be a space where I could share all I know and am learning about love, dating and relationships. I was very wary of the things I said, and I kept challenging myself before I posted something: has it been written before? Because of this, I didn’t write about most of the things and thoughts that I planned to. I dismissed them before they had a chance to see the daylight.

Then, Stuart told me that I was worrying unnecessarily. Many things have been written by many people, but that doesn’t mean I can’t add in my own perspective, or maybe some fresh thoughts into it. It’s your blog, he said, so you can write anything you want.

I thought about it, and the ‘aha’ moment came. The flood gate was opened, and I started to write prolifically, with at least one post a day. The momentum was just there, the adrenaline driving me each day. The more I blogged, the more I have to blog about! It was euphoric, to say the least.

Then, I fell sick. That was a year when I was sick for very long period, stretching from minimum two weeks to maximum few months. And I stopped writing. The momentum just stopped, and it was never picked up, for I experienced the longest drought of inspiration, and writer’s block.

Until that day in Iowa, when I was there to learn about writing, to reconnect with this passion of mine, that I got that email and remembered those times when so many people would flock to my blog and read and either leave comments or email me about their thoughts, and their gratitude. I asked myself: have I been letting these friends down by not blogging as much now? Am I still passionate about writing? Well, this trip to Iowa certainly gave me the answer loud and clear. YES, I AM!

So my dear friends and readers, I’m going to make a resolution here, that I won’t let one week go by without adding any new post, and I’m going to really have a fantastic blog for all of you. A place where you, hopefully, can learn about life, love, and relationships with me, laugh and smile together, to hope, to dream, to live.

Now that I’ve made this commitment publicly, I have to live it up! And the first step is, besides adding more pictures, and blogging at least twice to three times a week, to have a new blog design. So, if you are a blog designer, and you’re reading this, please contact me.

I’m excited about this new start for LOVE, KLOUDIIA. Are you?