LOVE, Kloudiia

My niece came visiting last week. This was the first time I’ve seen her since she was born 14 months ago. She really is a bundle of joy! She isn’t stingy with her smiles and chuckles, and she certainly has no qualms about running for comfort in a bid to seek attention.

None of us blame her for doing that. In fact, we relish in her company as she monkeys around in the house.

A parent will know and agree that for a toddler who has just started to walk, “impossible” is not in their area of awareness. They will grab anything they see, and this includes kicking off an early career in bowling with mandarin oranges as make-shift bowling balls striking some invisible and imaginery pins.

Then, she laid her hands on a forbidden object – the clock. My cousin, who is her aunt, immediately took it from her little hands and lightly hit her on her wrist, indicating that she must not play with that. Without crying or saying a word (not that she could!), my niece turned around and ran toward my cousin’s fiance. With her left hand cupped over her right wrist where she was just hit, she raised it up to him.

As little as a 14 month old, she already knew the secondary benefit she could gain from such a mis-endeavour. Seeking solace and affection, she got what she wanted. But that wasn’t enough. With the same stance, she ran to her grandfather, who patted her. Then, she did something. She ran to my cousin with outstretched arms. She was seeking comfort from the person who had hit her!

As I noticed what she was doing, I realised how foolish adults had been. Let me explain. This is what we can learn from a baby’s pride.

Pride? Did I just say pride? What pride? Do babies have pride or ego? Do they know what is called losing face? Do they understand the pain of being ridiculed, sniggered or embarrassed?

Of course they don’t. And precisely because of this, they don’t let pride come in their way of getting what they want.

Adults take pride too heavily. So much so that even though we may know the intention of the person who have caused us hurt could be one of goodness, but because we have been wounded emotionally, we couldn’t take it in our stride to go back to them and ask for a hug or a word of consolation. Not even a resolution is possible in a world where pride takes a high priority.

I know this may sound ironical. Why should we go back to them when we are the ones who are victimised? In this case, why then should my niece run to my cousin for the last round of consolation before she decides “it is enough”?

Because the person matters. Because as much as we want to run away from this person, we want to scramble into their embrace and hear the words that we want to hear. But we stop on our tracks. Unlike my niece.

That’s why babies are so innocent, while adults are complicated. Well, we need to. How else could we survive? But maybe, just maybe, we can put pride aside when we are dealing with VVIPs in our lives. To accord them such a supreme status also means they really hold a special place in our hearts, and I believe they don’t come in large numbers. Even then, it can be really hard, I know.

But let’s not make this an excuse for us to not even make an effort, ok?

[tags]pride and ego, relationships[/tags]