Link: Idiocy Is Gender Neutral
13 Jan 2007
Now, this lady here barks and bites, virtually. But she’s honest too!
She gives no qualms about airing her views on her blog, as candidly as you can hear it from the horse’s mouth. Maybe that’s why she’s got massive traffic flowing to her site when she don’t even allow comments, only trackbacks like what I’m doing now.
Why am I choosing to post her entry here? Because the point she made in this entry hit a nail on the head and it brings home an excellent point that I’ve been telling people about love and relationships.
Here’s an extract:
Qualities like selfishness and idiocy are pretty gender neutral, as well, so why are we strictly harping on the masculine mistakes?
Women may at times tend to focus too much on the mistakes men make, so much so that they had forgotten to appreciate the man for his efforts to help, but only concentrate on what he didn’t do well.
How does that help him to become better in listening to you or helping you to do what you would like him to help?
So ladies, if you want your man to help you with some chores and to assign him some tasks or run some errands, then do remember to appreciate him for his efforts to help! Whether or not he executed the task to your perfection isn’t as important as the fact that he’s willing to do something for you to ease your burden.
See his intention in a good light that he truly wants to let you have an easier time so that both of you can enjoy some quality time together. Even if he helps you out grouchingly, still give him a pat on the head and say “Thank you”. He’ll be more willing to help out the second round.
I know it can be quite frustrating to tell someone a hundred times to give you X and you still got Y. I’ve been there before. But the next time before you flare again, ask yourself this question:
Does scolding or shouting at him help?
Seriously, if it helps, then he won’t be giving you Y again after so many times, would he? So if shouting at or scolding him don’t get you the results you want, then change your strategy! Use other methods instead.
What I can suggest is something that will never fail to work on a man – use your gentleness instead.
Have doubts? Or can’t take your anger lying low and be gentle with him after he’s messed up again for the nth time?
Well, what I can say here is this – you have a choice to make.
Either change your approach to achieve a different outcome, or stick with what you are doing now and continue to stay unhappy.
Got it?
Oops, look how much I’ve rambled. This is the link that I would like you to read: Idiocy Is Gender Neutral from Violent Acres.
A good post I must say 
[tags]love and marriage, dating & relationships, communication, stratgegy, couple[/tags]
5 Responses
2007 Jan 13
Gentleness always break the hardest heart.
Much that many man will not admit it, but we man do also requires being appreciated by our partner, not being taken for granted too. We man also need praises and adoration from our partner.
What a woman needed from a relationship, so does the man.
2007 Jan 13
I second Bored Dad.
But having said that, some men ought to learn to take the initiative in handling house chores. I’m sure men are not that ignorant til he has to be told what to do. And certain things needed to be done are just simply common sense. For example, even if you do not like the idea of the one washing the dishes, at least have the decency to help your woman clear the table.
2007 Jan 13
Both of you are right, BD & ED!
It takes two to tango in a relationship. But ED, while you find it common sense to help clear the table if not wash the dishes not all men find it so. There are a few reasons, one of them could be due to his own family culture and upbringing.
Hence assuming it’s something which should be “plug-and-play” can be dangerous if communication is not there to make sure that mutual understanding is achieved.
2007 Jan 13
One thing for sure, doing house chores are not a problem for me, being doing it since young, in my military life, and even now being a ‘bored dad. Haha…
To many suprises, many man does do house chores, just that they don’t go around telling everyone, thus, most people thought man don’t do house chores simply because the medias had been focusing on the men that don’t do, not those that do.
2007 Jan 13
Yes Kloudiia, you are right. Why do I say you are right when I pointed it out otherwise?
I have a dad who is such. He does absolutely no housework around the household. Take my word for it, absolutely zero housework. (Not that this is something very proud to be talking about) But in a way, like you mentioned in another blog, it’s all about perceptions and viewing it from another perspective.
Not doing housework doesn’t mean he didn’t set an example for me. He did still set an example, but it’s an example that I have to learn not to inherit. Haha!