1.get back to your ex.
pros: he’s a “changed man”, you still “love” him.
cons: but you dunno how much he has changed. it takes time to really find out for yourself. will the passion fizzle out after all that affair-ish interactions?
suggestion: TIME is needed to know what happens

2. marry the current bf.
pros: guaranteed future as wife.
cons: but according to you, you don’t love him at all. (then why did you continue with him?). since the 5 year didn’t do it, i dun think you’ll miraculously fall in love with him this last year before you get married. again, dun let the “5 year worth of youth and effort” factor mess with your decision. think for yourself.
suggestion: take some time off, tell him you have some doubts. maybe postpone the wedding. if you really love him u’ll know after NOT seeing him for some time.

3.end up with neither, start a new life with a clean slate. life is too short to be letting baggages hanging around.

[p.s.: i was in the same situation again. dang, sounds like i'm a player. but i'm not. i was with my "stable 2-year" ex, but i finally didnt feel anything for him, so i called it off. i was also with a passionate, immature guy [similar to ur first love] for 1.5 years. the relationship was intensed and i had a hard time giving him up, but i finally did.

now i’m with the best suited person for me (i know coz i needed the past failed relationships to find out who i am) and we’re optimistic about our future. if i didn’t walk away from the both of them, i wont be where i’m at today]

Go where your heart is, that’s my personal advice. But of course, not without affirming that B is a changed man. While we have fantasies of how wonderful life may be with our first love, we shouldn’t carry any false illusion that someone else can fill the boots of the person who is factually in our heart.

One of my friends was unfortunate enough to get into this situation, divorcing her husband of 4 years to return to her ex-bf. The hurt on her husband was even greater at that point.

That ought to help?