LOVE, Kloudiia

“Hey Kloudiia,

I’m 16 and I met a guy late last year and he happens to be a great guy. We used to talk to each other often, even staying up through the night chatting online. He is 3 years older then me and ever since I met him, I regarded him as a mentor and an older brother. Months passed and I started to have feelings for him. I just admire him. His awesome personality – extremely funny and witty, mature and he’s good looking as well. I’ve told several friends about this and somehow he got to know about, thus he has been slightly different. He usually teases my other girl-friends but leaves me out (I still wonder why, haha). I want to tell him my feelings but I am just too shy.. because, he’s popular among other girls and I myself ain’t a good looker..

Thanks for reading.. do reply with your advice.. =)” - R

Dear R

So, you “ain’t a good looker” huh?

But, this popular, funny and witty good-looker is hooked to chatting with you (regardless if it’s online or on-the-line) that he can forego his sleep? Hmm, now, how do you do that? *roll eyes* (very curious now)

Attraction is a perception. That’s what I said in my eBook “5 Secrets To Up Your Attraction Quotient”. You can download it anytime from the right bar, or by clicking on that link. It’s free. Do take advantage of this offer from yours truly

Instead of magnifying your not-so-good feature, why not locate your best one and maximise it’s potential? Learn to start appreciating how you look, because by doing so, others will start to have the same opinion as you. That’s how you make yourself stand out, for you are definitely unique, isn’t it so?

Why he left you out in his teasing leaves me wondering too. But given a choice to assume, I would presuppose he did it out of purpose. What’s his intention? Maybe to get your attention? I mean, you will notice someone who’s quiet in a noisy crowd similar as you would single a chatty one out from a group of silent faces, wouldn’t you?

Then again, that’s just my premature guess. And we could be having a wild goose chase here for all we know.

So, before you decide to confess your feelings to him, ask yourself what is it you want to achieve?

Do you only want him to know how you feel, or do you hope to have something more?

If you only want him to know how you feel, then what is stopping you from doing it? Are you afraid of being teased? Or are you worried that you may be rejected?

You know, to be able to confess your feelings to someone you like takes a lot of courage. Whether or not your feelings are reciprocated doesn’t matter that much, if you had your intention set out right and clear.

What’s your intention then, if not to develop something further with him?

Your intention is this – to do something that totally scares you so that you get out of your comfort zone. Come on, how many girls will have the courage to do something like this? Not even someone in their 20s have the guts.

Do this for yourself. To learn how to express your inner feelings. To learn how to handle someone’s less-than-pleasant response (if he really laughed or reject you). Only cowards will laugh at someone they admire because laughing and being sarcastic is the best way to hide their cowardice. But you did something which many girls wouldn’t have the guts to do. You are brave to face your own feelings, and to let it be known. I’d be proud of you

You can say it in a very light-hearted way. It doesn’t have to come in a form of being very serious sort-of declaration of love. Something like “Hmm I guess you have heard from the guys ya. Yeah, I do have some nice feelings about you. I guess I like you. So thought I’d just let you know, but no other intentions. Wooh, feel so much better now after letting it out hahaha. Thanks for listening!”

Do you think you can manage something like that?

If you can handle overcoming your shyness and letting your feelings known in the face of someone whom you admire, I wonder how much easier it will be for you to speak in front of an audience of 100 people, or more, for your future project presentations?

On the other hand, if you are hoping to develop this friendship further, are you ready to be dating someone now? Do you know how to handle your emotions in the event of disagreements and conflicts? Do you foresee it affecting your studies in any way?

When one is caught in the web of love, you tend to lose all your direction sense. North or South doesn’t matter anymore so long as you’re with him. But at an age of 16, are you taking your GCE ‘O’ levels this year? That’s the reason why I am asking you the above questions so as to let you be more mentally prepared if you’re really ready to be in a so-called relationship, or to just be happy being there enjoying the feeling of secretly admiring a senior who’s 3 years older than you and one who can be there to guide you in your studies?

Usually, a normal friendship has less stress than one where romantic feelings are involved. I know saying this may fall upon deaf ears if you’ve already dived inside this love pool haha I can understand how much love is flying in the air within the campus at an age like this. You guys are probably more interested on the lastest updates of who is chasing who, who has accepted who and who has broken up with who than how to solve the math equation, am I right?

Well, I’ve been there too.

Yes love can be the greatest motivator. But if it’s not handled well, it can also usurp your full concentration as it invades your mind and heart and all you can see, hear and dream is his face, voice and touch. 

Couples who have handled it well may even get to walk to the wedding altar! I’m not kidding, I already have a few cases on hand, friends whom I’ve known who started dating at around your age and are now happily married!

So are you ready to step into the real world of dating and relationships, where the feeling of being in love can bring so much smiles and blushes to your face and yet it also has the power to give you the sour feeling and loss of concentration and motivation to do nothing except thinking of what has gone wrong between you and him when you are arguing, when you are in a cold war?

This is an almost have-to-go-through stage for anyone around your age. Is this your first crush? Hmm, well, you should enjoy this feeling. Sometimes this kind-of-have-yet-not-really tension can be a very good memory when you’re past this stage in life.

Take care my dear gal. I’d be glad to hear what’s your decision.

Lovingly, Kloudiia (sis) haha – ok can’t resist putting this ok!

[tags]love advice, relationship advice, teenage love, crush, infatuation, senior, dating, boyfriend, girlfriend, steady, shy, confession, declaration[/tags]