LOVE, Kloudiia

“Kloudiia,

Hope you are doing fine. I just bought The 69 Love Notes from bookstore last weekend.

These few weeks my ex-girlfriend trying hard to get me back, I’ve told her I’m happily with my current girlfriend. She couldn’t accept our relationship has ended; in fact we already broke up for 1 year. Everyday she messages me saying she still loves me and asking me why I choose a Malaysian gal instead of her. I felt disturbed.

My ex-girlfriend and current girlfriend has totally different character. My current girlfriend is a Malaysian gal, we have been together for 6 months, and she is a humble and caring gal. I feel comfortable with her, she won’t expect too much as in financially need, less materialistic and mature thinking, she does not spend money freely and take things for granted. Sometimes she even buy things I was gratified that she respects my parents. As a man at 28 this year, I think most of the guys or at least myself will hope to find a wife, whom able to do housework, at least their wife can be a good homemaker, show you caring, cook for me after work and do some chores. I’m trying to tell my ex this is kind of gal I want to spend for life, but she seemed like didn’t get my point.

Kloudiia, please advice. How can I make my ex understand? I don’t want to lose my current girlfriend.” - N

Dear N

Thanks for getting my book. May it lead you to love, joy and happiness!

Your ex-girlfriend looks like she’s in a denial stage right now. That’s why she cannot accept that the relationship has ended, and the fact that you actually chose a girl whom she may feel she’s superior to (from the way you’ve written).

It looks pretty clear cut that your heart is fully with your current girlfriend now, and she is everything you look for in a spouse. So, are you hoping to get this message clear to your ex while not hurting her too much?

I know it can be hard to deal with someone whom you have loved before and to break the news to her that you no longer love her, and your heart is fully occupied by another woman.

But, that’s the most direct and best way to handle this. On one hand, you really don’t want your ex to continue harbouring false hopes of patching back, on the other hand, you need to be sensitive to your current girlfriend’s feelings, and wouldn’t want to put her in a spot where she will start to feel insecure.

Just do what you can. If there is a need to, be totally blunt with your ex and let her know clearly that the relationship is completely over, and it’s irrecoverable.

If she is still hanging on there, maybe you can consider changing your mobile number. This should be the last resort. But before you do this, I’d strongly encourage you to suggest your ex to get love coaching. She looks like she really needs help to get her over this stage before she can let go of the past and move on to find her happiness once again.

In the meantime, if there is any need for you to see your ex during this period, be sure to maintain absolute openness and honesty with your girlfriend. This is a very sensitive period, and no matter how understanding she can be, there is still some sore spots you need to be extra careful when treading.

Secret #10: Honesty – The Gatekeeper That Keeps The Good In And The Bad Out and Secret #15: Trust – Your Shelter Against Storms will be very useful in your case now.

Keep all communication lines open between you and your girlfriend now, so that she’s fully aware of what’s going on between you and your ex. Constant reassurance of your love for her through words and action will seal your love in very nicely, and safely. That’s what Secret #9: How Appreciation Allows You To Go Further shares.

All the best to you and your current relationship N.

Love, Kloudiia

[tags]love advice, relationship advice, dealing with ex girlfriend, past relationship, dating, compatible partner, denial, break up[/tags]