LOVE, Kloudiia

I recently had a weird dream about a guy friend of mine. Suddenly I began to wonder – am I stirring up some feelings for him or is it just a form of desperation? He is just a friend of mine and I probably only see him a few times a year. But then, after seeing friends around me getting attached and married, I am starting to get tired of singlehood. Afterall, singlehood for all 27 years is not quite funny. So am I having some feelings because I want to be in a relationship and he happens to be one of the closest guy friend around or simply coz I do like him? What do you say about that?” - IM

Dear IM

Dreams do tell us quite a bit about ourselves, don’t they? They reveal our innermost fears, our wants and desires which usually aren’t fulfilled. Well, I’m not an expert at decoding dreams, so let’s look at what’s bothering you instead that I may be of help.

You could be feeling the peer pressure, or rather influence. You know, there have been cases where people feel the rush for marriage when friends around them start marching their way down the red carpet saying “I do”. Similarly, there are people who, somehow or rather, also got caught by the “divorce bugs” when their circle of friends’ marriages start failing and breaking up.

Whether or not that is the case, you have to ask yourself certain questions. Have you been wanting to find a partner all along but just haven’t met Mr Right, or have you been enjoying your singlehood so much until now?

If it’s the former, then certainly your friends’ marriage are but the icing on the cake. You already have this want all along. It’s just a matter of not having got what you want, yet.

If it’s the latter, then what is it about singlehood that has attracted you for so long? And what is it now that is pushing you away from it? You see, before you plunge into the search for the right one, you have to be well-prepared yourself first. What are your expectations of a relationship? What are your values?

If you can find out these answers, then your question on whether or not you have feelings for this man in your dream would be solved. If he fits snugly into your list of values, expecatations and criteria, then maybe your dream is a timely wake up call for you to be slightly more proactive to initiate a meet up and chat, more deeply this time round.

If he is a far cry from what you expect, then keep a big lookout for the man who has the great potential to be The One. In any case, if you won’t know how you feel until you experience it yourself, then go ahead and ask this friend out. Who knows, maybe sparks may fly this time? If it doesn’t, who cares! You’ve got a nice lunch or dinner date too, isn’t it?

I wish you all the best IM. Hope to hear some lovely updates from you on your love life.

Love, Kloudiia

[tags]dating & relationship, dream, the one, Mr Right, special someone, finding love, marriage, peer pressure, guy friend, singlehood[/tags]