LOVE, Kloudiia

“Hi Kloudiia,

My girlfriend and I broke up about three months ago. With every other breakup I’ve ever had, I felt worst immediately afterwards, and then felt better and better over time, but this time it’s just the opposite; I felt pretty good at first, and have felt worse and worse since. I was really sad to lose her, I missed her everyday. Last time she will keep me company when I feeling down. We both cried and cried on the day we broke up.

I regret on my impulse to break up. I’ve since realized that our differences – which seemed irreconcilable, in fact it could have been easily resolved. The breakup was my fault. I should make more of an effort with our relationship. Now, I know that I regret things that I’ve done. It’s so sad to know that she was a wonderful girl, and I was just selfish. I deeply regret that, and I’m sure that if I’d handled things better, our relationship would have been great.

We’re still friends. I know she is still single now. I’ve told her that, I’d do almost anything to win her back, she said even though she still loves me, she will not come back to me. I think the problem is that I hurt her a lot, she doesn’t really believe me anymore, or she doesn’t want to get hurt again (and I can’t blame her).

Is there anything else I can do that would help me to win her back? Am I being unrealistic to think we might get back together? And if so, how do I get over her? My friends tell me to date other people, but I’ve gone out on a few dates recently, and just wasn’t at all interested in those women. I felt absolutely nothing, which again is very different from how I’ve felt after all of the other breakups I’ve ever had. PLEASE HELP!” – Jy

Dear Jy

You have heard of the story of the wolf as a child, haven’t you? I guess this relationship is taking up on you now.

You are really sure that she’s the one for you, but are you sure you’re the one for her? Do you know how to handle those “irreconcilable” differences now if they were to happen again?

Do you know the type of man your ex-girlfriend is looking for? Can you be that person? Do you need to make substantial changes to be that guy?

We know that love encompasses sacrifices. We also know that when we found someone whom we can bare our heart and soul to, we are willing to take that leap of faith and jump into the love valley. Are you ready to jump into this valley and be a changed person for this girl?

If you are, then you are ready to recommit yourself and show it to her!

Constant action moves mountains. I’m sure your sincerity and consistent improvement will be proof to her that you are no longer the same guy she used to know. Give her some time though, after all you can’t transform yourself overnight as well, can you?

Even if she is no longer available now, but if you have recognised those weaknesses in you that will sabotage your relationship, isn’t it good too that you can learn now to wipe out those faults and replace them with stronger qualities that will not only see you through the next relationship, but to make it a satisfying and meaningful one too?

Let me know if you like me to help you work on this ok?

All the best to you Jy!

Love, Kloudiia