Comments on: Love Advice: “We’re Not Meant For Each Other, But We Can’t Let Go”

By: Bored Dad

Bored Dad — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 12:36:47 +0000

There is a fear of committment due to the past bad experiences from the both party. It’s good to identify the problem only then that they can learn to deal with it.

Suggest to have really open heart chats to identify all the fear and why of the two party, and then talk about how to overcome the fear in their heart, together, not as individual. Cause like I had said before, when in a relationship, it’s no longer ‘I’, ‘me’ and ‘my’ any more, but it’s ‘we’, ‘us’, ‘our’.

So overcome this together as a couple, more importantly, not to rush things but do it at a comfortable pace, and it will certainly take some time. A relationship is not only a process of knowing yourself, but also to discover about your partner, it’s a learning process and a discovering process.

By: mia

mia — Mon, 26 Feb 2007 13:13:12 +0000

i have been in the same situation, but i walked off finally, coz i dun see any future. there are many reasons to falling out of love. and the reason is pretty clear here.

first, this is their first serious relationship. relationships are a way to know yourself. it’s normal that you get together with the wrong person in the first place thinking he is the one, because that’s what you believe AT THAT TIME. after that, people grow and learn more about themselves, and find out that the partner is not the type they want. heck, they may even feel that given the hindsight they won’t even be attracted to that person in the first place. this happened to me. i am surprised why i was attracted to my ex-bf. but i know it is because i was young and green in relationships, and didn’t know what is compatible for me.

dun despair, this is a learning experience. let it go and start over. there’s still a long way to learning and finally accepting who you really are. the feeling of “love” and familiarity will give way to a feeling of relieve and refreshing realization that you have done something right for yourself. 3 years is nothing compared to a lifetime of regrets and complaints, so dun base your decision on the reason that “it’s been 3 years and you’ve invested your time and energy”. time is of essence, dun drag something on just because you dun have anything better available for now…

By: Ed

Ed — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 02:06:27 +0000

I think it is important for us to differentiate between “it’s over” and “not wanting to do anything more”.
As I read on, I have this personal impression from her words, that both of them are suffering from some form of mental blockage due to previous relationships. I could still be wrong though. It is very easy for a relationship to fall into such a plight, IF both parties expect things to fall in nicely without having to do anything more. And why shouldn’t they?
Some lasting couples make it through, because they rejuvenate their relationship constantly to prevent it from falling into a stale state. They don’t tell themselves “there’s no future”, they create their future. A relationship is not a miracle.