LOVE, Kloudiia

“Kloudiia,

I have tried explaining to her that I don’t mean to control her but she just won’t give me another chance. She told me that it’s the end for us already and let’s just be friends but from what my friend found out, she told him that she do not bear to let go of this relationship that’s why she is very upset. We have not spoken to each other during these 2 months because somehow she keeps avoiding me whenever I try to talk to her.

I am thinking of wooing her back, but do not know if there’s still any chance left. I even tried searching tips on the internet on “getting your girlfriend back” given from love coaches from other countries and one of it was to cut off all sorts of contact with her and look for another girl to date and make sure she knows it so that she will be jealous. But can this method be used on any gals in Singapore? Is there any way that I can woo her back? I want to know if she still miss me. Can you help me?

Thank you.” - ML

Dear ML

It looks like I have a man here who is really full of regret and truly genuine to get a second chance. Well, this is a good start already!

It’s a good sign that you are proactively searching for solutions and ways to woo her back. This is very encouraging and I would like to urge you to continue being so, for if you aren’t going to take responsibility and be in-charge of your own love life, who will?

Now, if I were to ask you what will you do to win her back, do you have the steps? If you have, I would like you to write them down and take action on them, regardless of what the outcome may be.

Do not let any fear block you from taking action. Do not let those “what ifs” to stop you from doing what you would have done without those unnecessary worries.

You should be the best person to know what your ex-girlfriend likes and what she doesn’t. Work on the former and avoid the latter – that’s something you would have known already.

So with respect to the tactic about making her jealous by dating other women, my question to you is how do you suppose she will react to such jealousy?

Different people, men and women alike, respond differently to provocative methods. Jealousy is one of such ways. To what I know, usually the effect is two-ways – either they bite the bait, or they swim away totally.

So, what sort of category does she belong to? You should know this better than I do.

Yet, having said this, I would like you to bear in mind that relationships are never a game. If you feel that using such a method to test her out is ok with you, and it doesn’t undermine her trust in you, then you can always test it out. But if you feel that there’s a risk involved (in the event that you really got her back), then it’s better for you to think it through before you do anything.

Personally, I wouldn’t opt for this. Though I’ve known some who pulled this through successfully and also people who failed terribly.

Hope your wish in getting her back can come true quickly. If you need more help, do let me know.

You may also like to know that I’m running a seminar this Saturday, 20 Oct on relationships. I really feel this is a good chance for you to learn more things that go on in a relationship that you might not have known before. If you like to find out more, click here.

All the best to you ML.

Love, Kloudiia