While walking towards the dessert shop after dinner last night, my friend was telling me about his love problem.
K: “So you see, this is what I mean. There’s a similar case I had on my blog too. You didn’t read my blog, did you?”
My hands on hips now, ready to whack him anytime if he admits he hasn’t been reading my blog.
F (laughing now): “I read, but not all. But you have one case talking about this married woman, and you know what? After reading that I don’t dare to go into relationship anymore!”
K: “Huh? Really? But why?”
F: “Of course! Imagine nowadays everyone is cheating in their relationship. Who’ll still have confidence in love?”
K: “Hmm…”
I froze there. This was another ‘aha’ moment yesterday.
If this was the message my friend (I’m sure he’s not the only one, though I hope he is) got after reading those relationship problems and advices on my blog, then it certainly is going the exact opposite of what I want to achieve by posting them!
I’m always advocating learning from other people’s experiences and stories. Whether the story has a happy ending or involves a complicated issue, there will be a lesson or two to take away from it.
So it really depends on how you look at it. If a happy couple can show you the secrets to a successful marriage, then a failed relationship can also give you clues to impending problems brewing so that you can nip them in the bud before they blossom into full-bloom crisis!
Why do people cheat in a relationship? There are many reasons, and I’ve outlined several in each of the different cases of infidelity in those love advices I’ve posted in this blog.
What did you learn from those case studies? How has it helped you in your current relationship, or your view towards one if you are single right now?
If it dampens your confidence in building a healthy relationship, then how can you read it so that you can walk away feeling much better, that you know you are now more equipped to handle a problem effectively and you are more mindful of the catalysts that could lead to a relationship crisis?
I will still be posting these questions, because I know that the person with the problem will benefit from some extra advice he gets from the blog readers, while the readers can absorb the inner workings of a relationship and learn what it takes to build a happy and lasting one.
Any event in life is there for a purpose. You can either learn from it and grow positively, or you can learn about it and retract.
Learn and grow, or read and retract.
Life is all about choices and perspectives. Again, this is a choice you can make.
What is your choice? What lessons have you taken away with you from reading this blog?
[tags]blog, love advice, relationship advice, problems, love and marriage, dating & relationship, couple[/tags]
2 Responses
2007 Apr 09
Hi the stories and advice in ur blog are quite useful and interesting to read. Yes i agree that the cases of cheating in relationships are quite disheartening (i heard of a couple of those from my own circle of frenz too – its seem so common). I think its natural to want to protect oneself from the pain of betrayal.
Still that’s not the only urge going on i believe. Everyone needs to be loved and to love. so i guess one has to gauge how much he/she wants to have a love and be loved than to always skirting around the relationships to protect oneself.
Personally I’ve been through betrayal too, and i know the loss of trust is hard enough to restablish the confidence in love. As much as I want to believe in the optimistic side of life (not all relationships r like that), but it still takes quite an effort. Haiz I’m still quite commitment-phobic judging from my last relationship.
How do one find the confidence to commit again?? I tried a few times to do this but still I ended up too afraid and too unease to continue the relationship. Is it just me or the time/the man is not right for me yet??
2007 Apr 10
Hi Christina, thanks for sharing your experience with us here. After going through what you have went through, it takes time and some right approaches to rebuild your confidence – in yourself, in love and in a man.
If you are serious in doing this, I can help you with my love coaching program. Contact me or visit http://www.LuvLifeCoach.com for more details ok?
I hope you’ll find love and happiness soon… hugs!