LOVE, Kloudiia

“Hi, I would like to ask is there so call a perfect couple? Will the chemistry be gone after couple of years in a relationship? Can chemistry be created, if not how can a couple get marry if there isn’t any chemistry formed? Please advice..” - D

“Has society today make it so hard to keep a marriage going?” - AT 

“Do you think the length of time a couple known each other before marriage a good indication of how their marriage will turn out?” - H

“Is there really real everlasting love in this world right now as there are a lot of temptations around?” - J 

“What is love? I am seeking for true love but I dont even know what is love..” - A

Dear all

Hmm, what is love? Can it last?

How to keep a marriage going? How to resist temptations? How to maintain the chemistry?

These are all the questions that are raging in your head since the day you knew about this thing call love. Am I right? I bet I am!

I have asked myself all these questions before. I even used to believe that love cannot last. It is just a matter of time that it fizzles out and what replaces it will only be a duty and responsibility towards your partner, and children if you are married.

What then causes me to have such a big shift in my belief about love and marriage, dating and relationships?

Let me share my own experience which should answer all your questions. I hope!

I’ve learnt along the way that…

1. We are the owners of our lives. The quality of it depends on the choices we make.

You can choose to be happy, to trust and to love; or you can choose otherwise.

If you’re now in an unhappy relationship/marriage, you know you can

• choose to ignore the fact that you don’t know how to maintain a happy marriage;
• choose to refuse to acknowledge that maintaining a marriage needs to be learnt; and/or
• choose to believe that love happens when it happens and goes when it goes.

Or, you can choose the same decisions that other happy couples made. They

• choose to acknowledge that a loving lasting relationship can be learnt and they are willing to invest the time, effort and sometimes money to achieve that;
• choose to believe that love is a choice;
• choose to know that by learning how to make their partners happy, fulfilled and love, they are making themselves feel the same way too.

2. There are happy couples, and there are also unhappy ones

I’ve seen how marriages fail. I’ve also seen how marriages work and continue to shine brightly, adding warmth and love to their owners.

If the happy couples can do it, so can we! It’s a matter of how and what.

We have established the why – that’s where the choices in life come in (refer to 1)

So, the question is: Are we prepared to learn from these happy couples and do what they have been doing to retain the magic in their marriages? What secrets do happy couples have and tactics they use to continue their feelings for each other from the first day they started dating to the present moment in their lives?

If you are ready to find out the answers, and you are willing to change yourself to a certain degree and extent that will definitely give your stagnant relationship a booster, then you have already got what it takes to be the proud owner of a loving and lasting relationship.

3. The past doesn’t equal the future

I started dating at a later age than my peers. I used to be so negative about relationships that the only thoughts running in my mind are what I am going to do if we are going to break up, how do we break up etc before we even have a chance to start. Result is: any guy who has the guts to come up and confess or declare his love for me gets ousted from my friends list immediately! Period. I was scared to hell.

That was who I used to be.

I need to be at least 90% certain of the man’s feelings for me and that the relationship will be heading somewhere before I agree to date him.

My need for security was screaming so loudly that even my friend can hear it from afar, and he told me this “Kloudiia, your problem is you are too insecure.”

That struck me instantly.  

I knew something had to be done. I should no longer submerge myself in the fantasy tales of how love should be, how a man should be willing to die for a woman (not literally of course) to show his love etc. Instead, I decided to work on myself and get rid of the insecurity inside me.

It was an inside-out approach.

I’ve never looked back since. This is now the new Kloudiia that you know from all the posts I’ve written in this love blog of mine.

I made a choice then. It’s still the same choice I continue to make everyday. The same faith I chose then that I renew it daily now.

4. Love is a choice.

It’s not something that just comes and goes. It’s a choice that every couple make.

5. Temptations bring you and your spouse closer, if

Your love tanks are full. Why is this so? Let me explain.

When the love tanks are full, even when temptations are around, you don’t find yourself succumbing to that temptation. Instead, you’ll just take it as one visual treat and that’s it! In fact, when your love tank is so full, temptations will have the reverse effect of seduction. Instead, it will increase your want and desire for your partner more than anything else.

Because that temptation has successfully ignited your romance and love cells in your body and brain, which in turn results in your heart jumping and screaming to want to unleash them on the person it is yearning for - your spouse! For it is he/she who has kept your love tank so full!

Agree?  

How do you fill up your partner’s love tank and vice versa?

My book (coming soon!) will be the best gift I have for you all in answering questions like the 5 we’ve seen here. So if you choose to want to know what you can do to keep the love alive, chemistry bubbling and happy marriage going, then you will want to Subscribe to my blog now.

Because I’m going to give some good deals to my subscribers first, before I make them public.

Love, Kloudiia

[tags]love advice, relationship advice, chemisty, everlasting love, love and marriage, dating & relationships, loving lasting relationship, book, what is love, temptation, society[/tags]