LOVE, Kloudiia

“Hi Kloudiia,

I have fallen in love with a ex-colleague in my previous job. I was her direct supervisor then. I left my previous job both for a better career move and to court her after my departure from the same company.

We have lunched and watched movies together. She claimed that she only take me as a friend and hope to continue that way. She does not have any boyfriend at the moment. I have not been seeing her for more than 3 mths even though we are still keeping in contact via email and sms.

Many of my friends and colleagues have kindly offered to introduce their ladies friends & daughters to me. But I could not forget her & neither could I commit myself 100% to another relationship as this is unfair to the other party. I have been keeping this secret love to myself and have not told anyone. I have tried to bury myself in my work in order to get her out of my mind. But still, my heart hurts more when I miss her every now and then..

Please advise what should I do now?” - EK

 

“Hi Kloudiia,

I had seen the article in the newspaper so decided to get some help from you. I’ve been working part time and I guess I had a crush on this colleague. After knowing him for a year, I think I’m beginning to like him. But I didn’t make it obvious that I like him I just remain as normal. But I had recently found out that he already likes a girl from his class. I’ve been quite down since I found out about this. What do you think I should do. Can you please help thanks alot!” - D

Dear EK & D

I shall respond to the both of you, since you’re in the same boats!

What do you do when you love someone yet he/she is not reciprocating as you wish?

You see, to say it’s pretty straight-forward holds a fair amount of truth, though not all.

The easy and direct part is this – you have two options:

1. To wait for your love and hopefully he/she will one day look at you in a different light and chemisty finally sparks; or

2. Give up and work on letting go so that you can be ready to accept a new possibility as soon as possible.

The flip side is this – to ask you to completely let go of your fond feelings after allowing it to develop into the extent now is not entirely easy to do.

You have a choice to make here, because you know as well as I do that you’re in charge of your own emotions. Scary as it may sound, but indeed there are ways to achieve that as fast as you permit yourself to do it. I mean, to bury that love and to move on.

Let me know if you are ready to take this option, and I may be able to help you with my coaching program. 

Or you can take Option 1 and be there patiently for him/her. Who knows, one day miracles could happen. So long as you feel that the time spent is worth the while, then what is stopping you then? You will only be hesitant to take this route when you 1) know you like to settle down soon and/or 2) you find it’s too big a risk to take.

In any case, I wish you two all the best. Hope you will walk out of this confusion very soon. I’m sure you will, ya?

 

“Hi, I want to know whether when you talk to the girl you love on the phone, if sometimes run out of topics, then how?” - K

Oh Ken, is it because you have ran out of topics, or you are too nervous and has your mind ”hang”, or is it because you have met a woman of no words? Well, whichever case it is, find out what her interests are and go and be an expert in 3 days. Then you’ll have lots to share while she can contribute at the same time.

Bingo!

 

“How do I convince a gal to be my girlfriend?” - JT

If she has the same feelings for you, then just hold her hand while crossing the road. Yes it’s old-fashioned, but it still works! Why reinvent the wheel then?

If she doesn’t have any feelings for you, then there could be a dozen reasons. Maybe you’re wooing her the wrong way, she doesn’t feel you’re sincere enough, you don’t fit into some of her criteria (which you won’t be able to show her whether or not you do unless you find out from her) etc.

Find out from her, then change your strategy!

 

“Hi Kloudiia.

This is my very first maiden question for you ever since I got to know of your blog in the newspapers.

I am a guy who is 21 this year. However, I got a problem. While my friends are hanging out with their girlfriends on weekends, I am in my house thinking when I will ever land a romantic date just like my friends do.

To get started, where are the different places do you think I can make many friends, and hopefully meet someone special? What are the different youth clubs that I can join? I’m no longer in school now, but serving NS. As you can see, my chances of meeting that someone special are reduced considerably.

I would appreciate your help very much. Hope to hear from you real soon, Kloudiia. = )” - AC

Hi AC, big warm welcome to my blog! (Though this came a bit late, but still it came from my heart )

Ok, I may write another post in addition to what I’ve listed here – Valentine’s Day Specials: 10 Tips & Tricks To Ace That Date!. Meanwhile you can still consider to apply some of the tips I wrote in that post, as they are useful not only for Valentine’s Day but any and every day too, if your mission is to look for that special someone.

To your love and dating success my friends. 

Cheers, Kloudiia

[tags]love advice, relationship advice, unrequited love, finding love, the one, dating, chat[/tags]