LOVE, Kloudiia

I received a question from a male reader that goes like this:

“How do we know the other person likes you before the 2 of us can progress to the next stage? What are the actions/reactions to look out for?”

Guys, although women are commonly compared to water where the fickle-mindedness is innate, however, when the matters of the heart are concerned, we are one faithful and loyal party you can ever find. Which means, if we have feelings for a man, even if we do not tell him directly, we will certainly, even if subtlely but surely let him in through our words and actions that he means much more than just an ordinary friend to us. Here are some tips and rule-of-thumbs that you guys can use as a yardstick to measure the degree of her fondness for you. (Note however that this may not apply to every situation or everyone, especially where body language is concerned, it is of ultra importance that you have to read it as a whole, and not that action alone)

Note also that I am making an assumption here that the guy in question is acquainted with the girl whom he fancies, and this is not about picking up or befriending her.

1. She replies most if not all of your text messages / short message send (sms) as we call it in Singapore

Yes, and it applies as and when you send it. Even if it comes in the middle of the night, if she’s still awake, and if she likes you, she will usually give you a reply. In those instances when she didn’t reply you or replied late, she would give you the reason for the delay, for example stuck in a meeting, or rushing some work in the office, or she didn’t hear the handphone alert. Because women tend to get very happy and excited when she receives some sort of communication initiated by the guy, and as a way of showing her happiness, she will respond to them immediately, if circumstances allow.

2. Watch her pupils dilating.

Takes an expert to be able to catch this, plus you have to be standing close enough for you to notice these subtle changes in your girl’s eyes (doesn’t distance also tells you how special you are in her heart?). But it is an almost undeniable and unconcealable fact that one’s pupils will get dilated when they see something they fancy, be it a person or an object. Hence the phrase “eyes light up”!

3. She reacts positively to your accidental touches.

Ok, whether is it an accidental brush or a deliberate caress, if she’s into you, chances are she won’t shove your hand away or shrug her shoulder or whichever body part that comes into contact with you physically. In fact, she may subconsciously or purposely brush you with her hands or arms to create more intimacy.

Women are very sensitive to touch. So if a man whom she’d like to keep a distance touches her, all her senses get fired up putting her on an high alert mode, so she can prevent any of such “accidents” from happening. On the contrary, if she has fond feelings for you, then not only will she not push you away, she may even respond with a very shy and coy smile. Keep your eyes open guys!

4. Narrow the gap.

Test her feelings towards you by moving towards her. If she likes you, it’s either she remain where she is, or she may also nudge a little bit forward to close the distance between both of you.

But if she take a step backwards, be warned. Maybe she needs a little bit more time to get used to your presence. This could be due to several reasons, family background and upbringing is one, or she is just too shy, or she do not like you enough to allow you to go into her personal zone as she sees this as an invasion of her private space rather than a ‘declaration’ of love.

When she takes a step back, guys, please remember not to take another step forward. You do not want to start a cha-cha dance in the middle of the office with you doing the “chasing” and she “escpaing”. It sure looks comical if you tape it down and fast-forward it! Can you see the picture?

5. I can’t make it tonight, But …

Now, you have to pay attention if there is a “but” at the end of her rejection to a date. If she continuously rejects your date, without giving any reason or suggesting an alternative time and date, then chances are she is hinting you that you do not stand a chance and please stop bugging her.

But, yes, that’s when the “but” comes in very handy as a glaring clue to you, if she suggests meeting up on another day, this means she wants to go out with you but she really couldn’t make herself available at your preferred time and day.

One thing to note though. There are some girls who will never ever ask a guy out, even if its a platonic guy friend for a cup of coffee. So, if your special lady is one of this species, she may not suggest an alternate meeting time. But, what makes the difference between she liking you or not, is when you suggest meeting up another day, she will agree if she can make it. The latter will never agree as she finds it a waste of time.

6. You are given the priority.

Ok, this may not happen all the time, but on certain occassions when you asked her out and it clashes with a prior appointment she has made with her friend, when she did not outright reject you but instead says she needs to check with her friend and will revert to you later, this means she would rather spend the time with you than her friends. And if this doesn’t translate to her feeling something special for you, then what is!

7. Last minute check

If this girl is into you, then whenever you appear, she may do a last minute check on her attire, or flip her hair, or check her, eg, nails. In terms of body language, we call this little action “preening”. Men and women alike, when they see someone whom they like, they will adjust their shirt (for men) and tidy their hair (for girls) just so that they can make a wonderful impression on you.

8. If she’s smiling, then …

it means she likes you! And she is enjoying your company very much! But if she is keeping quiet most of the time, or not laughing much while you guys are on a date, then maybe you aren’t her Mr Right. Either that, or she is simply too tired and stressed out due to some problems.

In order not to jump to the wrong conclusions, it’s best that you check it out with her. Ask her gently if she’s feeling upset or down? Are there any problems in her work, or family? A man’s sensitivity and gentleness can melt even the iciest woman’s heart.

Alright. Use the above 8 tips with caution and at your own discretion, as I’ve explained before it may not apply to all girls, though in most general cases, they come in pretty useful and accurate as a benchmark.

When all things fail, remember, just be honest and frank – ask the girl how she feels towards you. Sincerity is the best way and tool a guy can ever have to win a girl’s heart. This secret recipe works even for a 80-year old grandma.