LOVE, Kloudiia

What can we tell from a blue-eyed baby, besides being the spokesperson for a certain brand of disposable contact lens in Singapore?

Well, babies are cute, generally. Apart from being monstrous and periodic episodes of wailing, they are mostly pretty adorable. Especially when they laugh and chuckle at your sight, or when they are sleeping so ever sweetly. I’m sure all the mothers in this world will say yes to the latter part of my sentence.

But what if I say babies are the most self-centred and selfish human beings on earth? Well, literally that wasn’t what I said, but rather someone told my sister who in turn told me. Why is that so? I mean, they are too young to start playing mind games, let alone harbouring any thoughts to do anything that will put them on the upperhand at the expense of others, right?

Fret not, and please do not start shooting at me, baby lovers, mothers, fathers, parents-to-be.

Babies only know one thing – to receive. They do not bat an eyelid if their mothers are so tired and fatigue from having to wake up at ungodly hours in the midst of the night just because they feel hungry and they need milk, now! They do not give a hoot if their parents could be busy doing some other things in the house and not able to attend to them immediately, because they will just wail till their needs are met.

Sure, you can say their only mode of communcation is to cry. Or rather, that’s the only way to express their negative feelings and emotions like hunger, discomfort, fear, attention-seeking etc. And yes, they will make use of this tool to get whatever they want, whenever they want and wish for. So isn’t this self-centredness?

Ok, at this point, if you still do not get what I’m driving at, let me explain in more details. Firstly, I’m not a baby hater! Reallu I’m not! So you can stop throwing stones at me (Ouch!).  Secondly, what I am talking about is this - when we grow up and no longer are babies, we should also have slowly understood and learnt the meaning of this word – “Understanding”. 

To be able to understand that we have to give in order to receive. When we receive, do it with grace and use it with love. To be able to understand that we do not always have to be the one to win an argument, or to overrule others and make the final decision, or to insist on doing something in pursuit of own happiness and gains even at the expense of other people’s welfare. To be able to understand how the other party is feeling, empathise on their situation before making any conclusions or givng any lectures.

We as adults are no longer babies. Hence, you as a husband should consider why is your wife upset with you, and be genuinely concerned and care enough to want to know the reason so you can rectify the situation, and not to wait and jump on her if she happen to use the wrong choice of words to prove that you could be right and she is just being unreasonable or selfish. You as a wife should also understand some of your husband’s needs and interests, his reasons for making certain decisions and to give him your support whole-heartedly.

Afterall, to have a happy marriage is not as hard as you think it is, it can be as easy as you make it to be, if you choose not to be a baby during times when understanding is playing a crucial role. By focusing only on your needs will certainly not solve the problems. If you focus on the overall objective of achieving love and harmony in the family, then it will be a loving and harmonious family you will have.

When can we let the baby in us out? Well, I’m sure there are other very positive, likeable, lovable traits like pureness, their unsuspecting character and total trust in you, their innocence for example. When are the appropriate times to unleash this baby in you, well, that’s your call!