LOVE, Kloudiia

All along I’ve known how powerful perceptions are. In fact many times the perceived value overshadows the actual value of the thing itself. The  scariest part is, perceptions are formed unconsciously. Hence when it affects how we value something, it acts almost unknowingly to the person himself.

I was reminded of this power recently over two very, very trivial incidences. Both involve food – one love of my life.

My sis and I were walking past a bakery and I casually mentioned I’d like to get some bread. Without thinking, my sis said: “The bread here isn’t nice.”

“Is it? You’ve eaten it before?”

“No. The bread doesn’t look good.”  Another reason was – my sis couldn’t link the name of the shop with goodness.

I stopped and wanted to peek at those rows and rows of buns in various shapes, colours and sizes but was pulled along by my mum and sis. “Come back after dinner la!” my mum said.

My sister had, almost instantly, formed a perception on the tastiness of the bread just by looking at the buns and the shop name.

That was the first incident.

Another incident took place last night.

My friend told me he preferred the garlic-flavoured wrap as I fiddled with the wholemeal wrap, before adding the punchline: “But I haven’t eaten the wholemeal wrap yet.”

I stared at him at first, then narrowed my eyes and would have thrown the wrap at his face if it wasn’t something edible and I hate to waste food.

See, he probably had imagined how wholemeal would taste like (most probably using past examples of eating wholemeal bread as a reference), compared to the garlic flavour and passed the verdict that garlic tasted better.  In his mind, he had already eaten both flavours, even though he hadn’t. In short, he already had a perception of how wholemeal would taste like.

Isn’t this what Wu Wei, a concept of the Tao, says? “To do without doing.”

I’m neither an expert at Tao Te Ching nor a Taoist, so I can’t explain more about Wu Wei than that simple sentence.

But, I certainly can share my thoughts towards perception, and how it is affecting our daily lives so intimately that we aren’t even aware of.

Perception versus Reality. How many of us actually know the difference?

Perception is hugely influenced by many factors, namely our personal preferences and likings, media, peer pressure, family influence etc. Too often, people thought that perception equals reality – at least in their minds. This misconception is what leads us to danger.

Advertisers are quick to grasp this fine line and even quicker to exploit it by creating huge perceived value of their products and services to entice consumers to part with the cash in their wallets.

Attraction is also a big perception, which I’ve explained in details in my free ebook.

We make decisions on what to buy, which services to consume and even what kind of people to befriend, to fall in love with and to marry based on perceptions. As reality slowly unfolds itself over time, we either get disappointed or overjoyed.

Can we stop perceiving? I doubt so, because it is a very natural reaction that all of us have. It’s the first mechanism that is being activated each time we see a new thing, just like a knee-jerk reaction. But we certainly can reduce the percentage of making wrong choices based on perceptions of false realities by giving ourselves more time to observe, question and decide.

Hopefully, we won’t miss out too much in our lives when we’re aware of how perceptions work to influence us, and how we can control them. More importantly, we have to be aware that perception doesn’t necessarily equals reality, and we should have an open mind to test things out.

As I was about to write this post, I saw this email in my Inbox. And I think it’s the best way to end this post – a true story on perceptions.

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Washington, DC Metro Station on a cold January morning in 2007. The man with a violin played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time approx. 2 thousand people went through the station, most of them on their way to work. After 3 minutes a middle aged man noticed there was a musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried to meet his schedule.

4 minutes later:
The violinist received his first dollar: a woman threw the money in the hat and, without stopping, continued to walk.

6 minutes:
A young man leaned against the wall to listen to him, then looked at his watch and started to walk again.

10 minutes:
A 3-year old boy stopped but his mother tugged him along hurriedly. The kid stopped to look at the violinist again, but the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. Every parent, without exception, forced their children to move on quickly.

45 minutes:
The musician played continuously.  Only 6 people stopped and listened for a short while. About 20 gave money but continued to walk at their normal pace.  The man collected a total of $32.

1 hour:
He finished playing and silence took over. No one noticed. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin worth $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold out a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a true story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and people’s priorities. The questions raised: in a common place environment at an inappropriate hour, do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize talent in an unexpected context?

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The next time you walk past a basker, stop and listen for a few seconds. Who know, he or she could either be the next big thing, or already is!