LOVE, Kloudiia

More than 15 years ago a male friend once told me one of the first things a woman will notice about a man is his arms. It’s the forearm, the part where it starts at the elbow and ends at the wrist, sometimes even right through to the fingers that he’s talking about – the ‘X’ factor. I pondered over what he said, and of course I asked him what was the reason. Apparently, a woman who ‘scrutinises’a man’s figure do it not because of lust, but rather to do an internal check if this man is strong physically, as it is a sure yet subtle sign of security to them.

Thus, a male hand with strong lines not only tells us this guy is physically strong, it also implies his manliness. Well, I took that with a pinch of salt, initially. Gradually over the years, I have come to agree with his statement.

To me, the arms is more than just a symbol of masculinity. Hand holding is one of the most important and yet under-rated display of affection in a couple from the olden days to now. To a woman, being held by the man whom she loves makes her feel loved, and important. It also tells others that he’s taken, and so acts as an instant ward-off for any potential predators. To a man, holding the hands of the woman he loves makes him feel important, that he is protecting and leading her, while also indicating to the world she is his.

Something as easy and effortless as holding hands can mean so much, yet, when a marriage has extended well beyond its honeymoon period, this simple gesture of love also fades away, especially with the arrival of kids. This scenario isn’t as common in the West as it is in the East. Asians are relatively shy in displaying affection publicly as compared to our western counterparts.

Good news is the newer generation of parents are becoming more generous in hugs and kisses. It has become a part and parcel ritual in a loving relationship as they realised the value intrinsic in these little gestures, to them and to the children. And it’s not just me, but many many others (usually women I must admit) who are in my generation lamenting how romantic and wonderful it is whenever they see old couples holding hands and enjoying a leisurely stroll, wondering if their husbands would perform the same when their hair has all turned grey. It is always an adoring and beautiful sight that warms one’s heart instantly, don’t you agree?

Wouldn’t it be great if we can start this trend in Asia and bring it forward to our next generation and beyond?