LOVE, Kloudiia

Imagine you’re on a first, or maybe second date with this guy. When placing your order, you ask for an iced lemon tea. Alright so far so good, nothing is amiss.

Then, you tell the waiter you want only exactly five ice-cubes with a slice of lemon measuring 2cm, not 1 mm more not 1 mm less. The tea has to be freshly brewed and not packet ones with one teaspoon flat of sugar etc.

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This will surely blow your date (and the waiter) off! Not the kind where he goes “Wow this is amazing!” but more of this “Oh my goodness! Is she a freak or what?”

Top 10 Men Turn-Ons #2: Miss Easy-Going

Do not be a fuss pot girls, please.

You see, men are usually loose with details. That’s fine (well, not really. Depends on their degree and things they were careless on) Women are more into details, that’s why we are complementary genders to be together forever.

But ladies, if you are too fussy or even to the extent of nit-picking every little thing that crosses your eyes, then you are giving your dates a darn good reason to back off all the way till they disappear into the darkness.

Back to my dating agency days, I remember a member who was very, very specific about punctuality. If the guy is late for 5 minutes, her feedback to us the next day will be – that’s not a good date. Then she will start to list down all the things that the guy has done “wrong”, which to us it’s probably just a matter of letting it go and forget about it!

I mean, life still goes on even if your date turns up five minutes late right? Especially if he apologises ernestly and gives you a reason, I really think we should learn to be more gracious, smile and let that issue go. The entire night could just be spoilt because of a woman’s stickiness in things like this.

But if the guy is perpetually late, for more than fifteen minutes, then it’s a serious issue that needs to be sorted out if you are someone who takes time and punctuality seriously. What I’m saying here is not that we have to be laxed on late-comers, but that at times, we shouldn’t be such a fussy-pussy. Not on the first date anyway.

You see, people are generally scared of being disciplined. Therefore, if you have certain preferences that you are so dogmatic about, then I would suggest you not to be such a perfectionist. I know it’s hard, because you have every right to choose someone who fits as many of your criterias in your list as possible.

Tell yourself that this is only a date, and you are here to make a friend. That’s what dating is all about. It’s to meet people, have a chance to let them know you and you knowing them. It’s not a test of the best personality or character. It’s not a Mr Nice manhunt or something.

Why are you giving that poor guy so much pressure thereby killing the bud before it has any chance to blossom? You are just committing suicide in dating.

Making a mole hill out of a mountain is really a taboo during the first few dates.

Having said that, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have a mind of your own. Back to the food example. You can have a share in deciding what to eat for that night. If you really have a certain craving for say, Japanese cuisine, why not voice it out? Make it a suggestion and not instruction and see what the guy says.

If he is fine with your choice, that shows three things. One – he’s into you. Two – he’s easy on food. Three – he’s a gentleman.

So the balancing point should be done very well here. Being easy-going and yet knowing when and what boundaries to set and to be firm with is something that women need to master.

Guys will be impressed with you if you show your side of femininity that takes care of details with such thoughtfulness and yet is easy on things that don’t threaten to destroy the earth or stop the sun from making an orbit.

Sounds like men are kind of hard to please isn’t it? Well, that’s how they feel towards us too! But still, we’re willing to give because of love.

Now the tricky part comes – what if you are really such a fuss pot? Does it mean you have to hide your true self from him? Aren’t we suppose to be our own self and not to take on another personality?

Yes you’re right. It’s important to be your true self, yet it may not be an exactly smart move to be 110% of your true self on the first date, until and unless you are 110% sure of his feelings for you!

This is why you need to read the third secret on what turns a man on.