LOVE, Kloudiia

A tea session with a friend today led to this. I was forced to admit what is the hardest part in my relationship.

So what actually happened?

When you haven’t met up a friend for a relatively long time, there are certain topics that will fall into the “will-chat” list.

Career. Relationships.

We covered both. After the usual checking up on his long-lasting long-distance relationship, it is only natural that the focus turned to me and my relationship. That was when he posed me this question:

“So what is the hardest part in your relationship?”

I thought, long and hard. Few moments later, I looked at him quizzedly and said “I don’t know! How do you define hardest part?”

He laughed and congratulated me. Now I’m more confused. He told me the fact that I can’t think of any only means there is nothing in my relationship that could be so bad I need to list them under the “hardest thing” category.

Whew!

What actually went on in my mind? When I was deliberating over that question, there were many little things that sparked up, followed by little voices that say “He is always so busy with work, but …”, “There are some issues with our lifestyle habits, but …”, “We do have some different opinions towards some issues, but …”.

There is always a “but” after each mental statement. These “buts” are making it hard for me to label them as the hardest part in my relationship! I knew that by making time for each other, we treasure those hours and minutes even more. I knew that through communicating and making adjustments we can re-attune our lifestyle habits to suit each other.

I knew that communication and having the want to make it work makes things less hard than it seems to be on the surface. Our love will see that this happens. I knew that.

So now I’d like to throw this question to you:

“What is the hardest part in your relationship?”

If your answer is like mine, congratulations! If not, maybe it’s time you use some time to sort it out before it fester longer.

Some questions you can ask yourself that might be helpful could be:

“What have you and/or your partner done/not done in your relationship that results in this?”

“What is it you and your partner could have done differently instead to achieve a different outcome?”

“What is stopping you from doing that to achieve the new outcome?”

“What is the new outcome you desire? Is that the same as what your partner desires too?”

If you find it hard to answer those questions, it could mean you need to lay hands on more resources pertaining to subjects in love and relationships. There are bountless books you can find in the bookstore, and in case you don’t know, another one is on the way written by me!

Or you could always contact me for a personal relationship coaching session with me via email.

If you want your relationship to work, then you have to work with your partner and work on it.  Before you can do that, first thing you need to do is to identify the areas that require your attention, isn’t it?

[tags]Relationship problems,Love,Communication[/tags]