LOVE, Kloudiia

Image: djcodrin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It’s always been my dream to write. As much—or as little—as you’ve probably read my articles or my book, there’s still a very long way for me to go in terms of fiction and creative writing. So coming to Iowa for five weeks where I write, write, and write! is indeed a leap towards achieving my dream. I have to thank Stuart for this. Of course, my parents and sister are holding the banner up for me too, but since we’re talking about marriages here, I’ll just focus on being mushy.

Has your wife ever hinted subtly to you about some of her unfulfilled dreams? Maybe she’s told you how she wished she could play the piano. Don’t you feel embarrassed to be the only woman in class who have gone through menopause, you ask her. She flinches, and buries this desire in her heart.

Has she ever come to you, with the rarest tone you’ve heard in all the years of marriage, with a brochure showing the blissful faces of a couple immersed in the ecstasy of waltz, cha-cha or rumba? And please don’t tell me that you told her she might cause a crack on the dance floor and it’ll cost you a fortune to pay for the damage.

Have you seen her swaying her hips, stretching her necks and squinching her eyes as she sings with her heart and soul along with the wannabes of Project Superstar on TV?

I’m sure your wife has at least one dream. Do you know what is it? If you do, have you been giving her the moral support and encouragement that she so hopes to get from you? Or have you been telling her to take a look at herself in the mirror and have a rein on her own fantasy?

Writing is a very hard journey to be on, as I’ve known before I came to Iowa, and which I’ve verified on all occasions with every writer I met here. I’ve called and poured my sorrows to Stuart about how I feel my writing is compared to the elite in class—while my heart aches from the expensive international calls—and he always makes me feel much better and more confident. He could have just said “See, I told you that you won’t make it, but you don’t believe me. Now you know.”

Or he could just recite the statistics of success writers versus the unknown ones who’re still slogging away in one corner of the earth, talent buried. But he didn’t. He only points out the good that I’ve written and encourage me to work on the weaker ones. He’s my cheerleader, and I can’t tell you how much more I love him because of this. I didn’t threaten to squeeze his pimples, in case you’re wondering: why his undying support?

I know it’ll be harder when you have babies, preschoolers and infants who need more time and attention from your wife. But, if running for the first woman president of Singapore is not possible at this juncture, it’s still a bonus to encourage and support your wife to go for a dream that is on a smaller scale. Like taking a short-term course instead of a full-fledged two year programme, and you can offer to relieve her of the domestic responsibilities so she could stretch her personal space and seek another form of fulfillment.

I believe that when you have a chance to go for your dream, it adds so much zest into your life. And nothing beats having the support of your spouse when you explore a new territory on a limb.

Like what I’m doing now. Have I mentioned that one advantage of taking a writing course far away from home is you have the liberty to do and say what you want, without ever being found out? Well, Stuart has been the butt of my jokes in my humour writing class, and he doesn’t know! Not until he reads this article. There, I’ve finally confessed.