LOVE, Kloudiia

My seventh gift for you – The Gift Of Solitude.

Noise clutters surround us. The TV, radio, mobile phone, office phone, fax machines, external voices debating and internal voices deliberating.

It seems like we don’t really have a moment of true silence for ourselves! “Silence is golden” - I embrace this. Especially when it is a much needed one.

Thomas Merton wrote in “Notes on a Philosophy of Solitude”:

True solitude (as opposed to individualism or “going it alone”) is the cultivation of the sense of the self that permits us to adjudicate the cry of the mob and resist the lure of the moment.

Marla Dee shared a simple yet beautiful story on the beauty of Simple Solitude with herself and her 9-year old daughter. Reading that article I yearned to be transported to the arms of nature instantly. The first picture that jumped to my mind was the time when we were brought to the “wilderness” to do some self-reflection and serious introspection on the second day of my RCIA retreat.  

Through the gospels, we learnt that Jesus often go to a solitary place to pray before dawn breaks. Thus it was in that symbolic representation of what Jesus did that we too had a before-dawn-breaks hike to the mountain top. I didn’t learn to appreciate the activity then. Hey, I was so sleepy from the premature waking up to be grateful for all the fresh air and greenery. Two months later writing this post, I finally saw the true meaning of that hike.

Instead of using that time for a much needed reflection and some solitude, I spent it chatting with my group mates and taking photos. Ok, I am smacking myself now. Ouch!  

Hence, giving yourself the gift of solitude also means spending some real quiet and reflective moments with God.

What makes this seventh gift so precious? After all, aren’t we being brought up accepting that team work is important? That being in a community means to be accepted by friends, to be seen, be heard and be there? We look at someone having lunch alone and we went “Oh, I wonder why is he/she eating alone? Poor chap.”, or “This is the loser with no friends.” in our heads.

We go to all lengths to avoid being caught in that miserable scene. Even to the extent to skip our lunch if it means we may be seen eating alone in the university canteen.  

Society has conditioned us that if we are alone, that means we must be lonely. Loneliness is a far cry from the beauty of having solitude in our lives. Loneliness can destroy someone’s soul. But solitude nurtures it, and allows it to have more room to grow and be stronger.

What can you do when you are alone that gives you such power to grow and be stronger than before? Imagine this. You can be totally freed from people’s noises, instructions and perceptions. You are who you are. Gone is the need to accomodate others, to meet their demands and satisfy their needs. Solitude frees you; it gives you the ultimate freedom one needs – freedom of your soul.

Solitude gives you the opportunity to pursue activities that require deep thought. Examples include thinking, reading, listening to some thinking music, writing, art and craft, painting, sewing, meditating and praying etc. To truly enjoy them, the prerequisite is to be alone. Unless it is a purposely setup to read together with your partner or to make pottery.

When someone is in a fix, they may need some real time to be alone to sort out their confused thoughts. Giving them this gift could be the best help you can ever offer. When he/she has enough of the “me-time” you can then offer your shoulder or a warm and patient listening ear. Be there to receive, not to push.

It is through these precious time you spend with you that allows you to have more realisations about life, and to see the wonders of your mind. Connect intimately with your physical-mental-spiritual self and uncover some of the innermost potentials buried.

Make this as part of your rest and relax routine. You will love yourself even more. Your partner will too, because the radiance and peace from you will then be too much to ignore.

My Seventh Gift For You – The Gift Of Solitude. 

[tags]Gift of solitude,Love,Relationship,Spiritual,Healing,Meditation,Self,Nurture,Freedom[/tags]